#1 Welcome To My Blog - I'm finally doing it!

18/07/23

This is my first blog post. Well, the first one after the ones I took down a year ago when I first got this blog up and running and gave it up again after about two posts. I’m planning on sticking around for a while longer this time 😉

The style of most blog posts will probably be an organized flow of consciousness, I’ll simply write my thoughts down in the way they come to me. The two designated times during the week that I am almost guaranteed to have time and no distractions are my two hour train commutes at the beginning and end of every second weekend from and to my university city. So, I’ll mostly be working on this blog when I’m on a train 😉

A Quick Introduction:

My name is Skye Mahdi and I am the author of this blog. Feels good to write it down like that. I’m Swiss and Egyptian, and as off right now still nineteen years old.

Why a blog one might ask.

I have started a YouTube Channel a while ago, and I’ve toyed with the idea of starting a podcast, but I have realized that what I really want to do is write. That’s what I’ve always wanted to do. Which is why I am putting myself out there in this particular way and not another.

I watched Gossip Girl (just started it and yes I am aware that I am way late to the party) right before I started writing and I am noticing it’s influence on my writing voice, or my own inner voice in this case I guess. Sometimes I wonder if this happens to native speakers as well. It probably does, right? Not as strongly though, I would think. Even my accent actually changes pretty fast after listening to native speakers. Depending on where they are from, I might suddenly start having this slight Australian twang to how I pronounce things. Though that does happen to me in Swiss German, my mother tongue, as well, so it might not have as much to do with whether one is a native speaker of a language or not.

Anyway, back to the blog. Technically, I could edit and make sure everything is proper and cohesive, like sticking to the topic in this case, but I have decided that I’d like this to be as authentic to my real thought process as possible, a flow of consciousness but with proper grammar, if you will. Since my thoughts wander and jump back and forth, which is the way I journal as well by the way, that is gonna transfer to the blog. Give it some character, I hope.

What this website will entail, my vision:

the blog: the narration of the website. I’m thinking of doing three series on the blog:
- off-the-record -, just between us – kinda posts, thoughts on random topics that I’ve been thinking about or talking to friends about and whatever I feel like, really (will be the most frequent one, the other two will be sprinkled in between). Maybe, if at some point there will be people actually reading this, I’ll include a segment where I ask for your thoughts on topics and share them and my takes on them. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, I’m still in the pilot era of this blog. I know that usually it’s a pilot episode but for me it’s gonna be a whole pilot season I’m afraid haha. Trying things and finding what works for me.
- interesting topics I urge you to learn more about
- media I’ve learned from or enjoyed that I recommend
my writing: current projects I’m working on and from time to time poems or lyrics or essays maybe. I’m also thinking of starting a series of writing about my dad’s childhood and mine. He doesn’t know about that yet though, so we’ll see.
songwriting analysis and interpretation: what it sounds like. I’ll finally be able to put the poetry analysis of endless German classes I had to sit through in high school to good use. I’m starting with Taylor Swift, because of course, and we’ll see who else gets the honor 😉 Oh, btw: I got tickets!! To the eras tour that is and oh my, I’m so excited it’s actually probably quite obnoxious. I don’t care though, because woooooo! I’m gonna see her with my sister in a year and I think those three hours might actually change my life. I’m still in disbelief. I can’t believe I managed to get my hands on tickets. The morning I got them was a very stressful experience I’d rather not talk about though I think I got lucky compared to some of the stories I’ve heard, especially with American shows.

Where I’m at:

I’m sitting on the couch in my parent’s house right now. The university semester ended a few weeks ago and I’m back home for the summer because I’m working near here. After studying more than full time, way more, I am in dire need of taking some time to reorient my life and realign my priorities. These past few months have really taught me that my health, mental and physical, is the foundation everything else in my life is built on. That’s my one job, really, is making sure that I am doing good, that I am healthy, and everything else comes from that, everything else is an extra, something I can build once that basis is solid. I probably should have learnt that lesson earlier, since this is not the first time I have been on the brink of burnout, but I fear this might be something I’ll have to relearn over and over my whole life. I remember this one day, after weeks of studying from seven am to eleven pm every single day, even on the weekends, when everything was all blurred together and I had been highly functioning for what felt like ages, completely numb and hollow inside, and suddenly my body just stopped. My eyes wouldn’t focus anymore, I started shaking uncontrollably, and everyday it would happen earlier and earlier, my body literally forcing me to stop. And I called my dad and he told me, “Just listen for once. Stop. Why won’t you just breathe and let it go for once? What are you so afraid of?”. And suddenly it clicked, I was afraid. I was so scared of so many things. Things that could probably be boiled down to ‘my life not working out’. Whatever that means. And I realized that if any of these things that I was so scared of were to happen, I actually did trust myself to be capable of finding a way out, of turning it around somehow. Provided I was alright, my mind and body healthy. And that’s what my dad told me as well, “One step after the other, you will be fine as long as you make sure you take care of yourself. Your one job on this earth is making sure that you are healthy. Everything else comes after.” It’s actually insane, the weight that epiphany lifted off my shoulders. It clicked, it finally properly clicked and it sounds cliché but I felt like a new person. And I made a promise to myself that from now on, I would treat myself with more self respect. Rather take a break than just keep pushing until I break. All of this might be a bit too honest, but no one is reading this blog anyway 😉 For now at least. My mom and sister might be my only readers atm, and my mom lets ‘google translate’ translate it so she can read it in German, which makes for some whacky expressions. But anyway, the point of this whole paragraph is to demonstrate why I’ve started this blog again. This may sound a bit over the top, but I need writing and I’ve neglected that need for too long. This blog is part of my realignment process. I’ve spent quite some time thinking about what I like doing and what I used to enjoy and what I find worth pursuing and what I want in my life. Finding what pleases me. Yes, that was a reference to ‘The Witcher’. Which, if you haven’t watched it yet, you definitely should. The second half of season 3 is out in a few days, enough time to catch up;)

Life is too short. Do what pleases you while you can.
Jaskier, The Witcher, S1 Ep6

And what I’ve really always wanted was to be an author. I’ve written a book, it’s not been published but it was a ton of work and I learnt a lot from it, about life and about writing, and I might start working and editing and rewriting… Guess you’ll find out. But either way, I’ve been thinking a lot about building my brand as an author, writer and artist. That is what has always been my dream and I don’t see that changing any time soon. So here it is, the first post of the snapshot blog. Hope you enjoyed.

XOXO, Gossip Girl

I’m kidding haha. For now at least I’m gonna go with what I often end my handwritten English letters with:

Lotsa love, Skye